7 of the Finest Rules for Parenting

Rule 1:

Another PB&J?!?!?!?!? GAWD!!

Stay Calm

This is important. If you want to ever be an effective parent, you have to keep your cool. When you react to a child acting out by acting out, you are teaching them to act out. Even if you are screaming at them to be calm, you are showing them that the way a person reacts to stress is to lose your cool. There are few, if any, situations were losing you cool is a good thing. Why teach it to your children?
This may be the hardest of the rules to follow, but in my opinion it is the most important. Rational and successful people do not lose their cool very often. If you want your kids to be rational and successful you must teach them that.

Rule 2:

Dad, why do people hate the government?

Be Honest

I have been asked some mighty difficult questions since I have been a parent. I have tried very very hard to be honest in all ways. There are facts that I skim over, of course. I have not discussed some of the grimier sides of life with my kids. Think Requiem for a Dream. However, I am honest about many things that are difficult. My oldest, Sterling, asked me why her boyfriend grabbed her butt. Try explaining that to a 13 year old. Moral of the story: Grow up and answer the questions and address the moral issues. Don't skirt the subject because it's hard. Those are the subjects they need the most advice on. 

Rule 3:

Your little angel.

Love Them; Not Who You Want Them to be

This is pretty simple, but can be very difficult. You have to love your kid, even if he is gay or she is a stripper. That means go to your queer son's pagent and clap your hands, Dad. Go to your daughter's strip club and shove a dollar in her undies, Mom. Yeah, you might not like it, and you can approach the subject in a mature way, but Love Your Kid. Show it more than you show your disapproval. I would not be happy if my girls end up junkies, but if they do, when I see them I am going to hug them and get them a place to rest and a shower and some food. I'm going to love my junkie daughters for who they are. Yes, you wanted him to be a man's man, and you wanted her to be a lawyer. You have the child you have, so man up and love them. (Sending junkie daughters to boarding school is love too.)

Rule 4:

Kamehameha!!!!

Moderation in All Things, even Parenting

Moderation is important, and it's a lesson we all teach our kids, or should. It is also an example we need to set as parents. When one of your children break a rule, it is best to speak with them or punish them and then let it go. A 2 hour speech about table manners will also teach them not to get over their anger, and to harp on people they see doing wrong. Sometimes, when Sally throws Billy in the mud, it is important to show Billy that it's good to laugh things off and move on. It's a FINE lesson for anyone.

Rule 5:

"We put on a concert!"

Teach Them to Create

One often overlooked activity is crafts. As a father especially, I have to push myself to go fold construction paper. After a few nights of crafts, making construction paper hats and LOTS of cheap Tie-Die T-Shirts, I found that the kids got amazing amounts of experience with hand-eye coordination, logical thinking, and teamwork.

Music, sports, and video games are also all excellent ways to engage your children in activities that require organized thought and creative problem solving. 

Rule 6:

You'd kick that wall's butt, little dude.

Encourage

"I think you'd do great, Kid's Name Here." It might be very simple, and it might be a little untrue, but this phrase will mean worlds of trust and self confidence to your children. I am an anxious parent. I imagine every terrible thing that could happen to my kids at every turn. I have a fine imagination, and I have to tell myself to ignore the paranoia. If you logically think your kid will get hurt, obviously don't encourage them. However, if your kid has a chance to push themselves to win, let them. Encourage them to try even after they fail. You have to earn your wins in life by losing.

Rule 7:

I want a boyfriend! She has a boyfriend!

Actually Be Fair

If you have multiple children, you have probably run into this issue. Kids want to be treated "fairly", meaning they want to do what others do and they want to have what other's have. That concept of fairness is wrong. A lesson that is hard learned but needed is that fairness is when we are all treated depending on our actions. If my kids are mature enough to handle walking to the store, they can. If one kid is mature enough to walk to the store at 11 years old, she can. If the other is not mature enough by the time she is 11, she will not be allowed to. I treat each of my children differently depending on how they act. They need to understand this so that later in life, they see that the people who have nice things earned them, and understand that it is the fair way for things to be.